Aaah! The power went out. I know what I'll do. I will light a candle.
There. Where is the flame? I saw something sparkling. I went to check it out. It was treasure. I opened the lid. There were heaps of pink things and there was a crystal that led me into a cave that led into a library.
Hi Margaret,
ReplyDeleteI really liked the start of your writing because it pulled me right into the story.
I wonder what might be hiding in the library?
Mrs Rehmann
To Margaret.
ReplyDeleteI have read your story and thought that it is really interesting and for a minute,I thought that I was actually in the story.Maybe next time you should be more specific.When I mean that,I mean like,what was some of the pink things?I just wanted to point that out, but everything else is just fine.
Jelia
Hi Margaret
ReplyDeleteI liked when you said Aaah! and
the power went out. Love it,
the storys fabulus.
from Aimee
Dear Margret
ReplyDeletewhen I read your story I just clickes into it.
It was re ally cool when you saw something sparkling. i loved your story and heres a question: what were the pink things in the chest.
sheridan
Hi margsret,
ReplyDeleteI like the why you light a candle.
I like the treasure.
Hi margaret
ReplyDeleteI like how you said Aaah and where is it flame it was awesome.
Joel
Hi margaret
ReplyDeleteI like how you said aaah at the start because people don't yushily say that at the start.
I like how you also said there were heaps of pink things
From Rebekah
your story is really cool. I really like it. I like it when you said there is lots of pink things.
ReplyDeleteHi margeret
ReplyDeleteI liked the way you said that I saw something sparkling.And when you said there were heaps of pink things and there was a crystal that led me into a cave.you have heaps of detail in you,re writing try and do that again.